Happy Grew Year

Thanks to father time for winding down 2017 in a rather good fashion. The new year has many promises, as we know we are offered hope, health, family..etc. etc. everything a person wants the new year can be a beginning. I however will spend the next week doing a personal recap of what the fuck just happenend. It went so fast, I barely remember breathing, and I practice yoga. Just breathe, just breathe. I had a year of personal growth and damn it hurts sometimes, there are things I simply wont accomplish in my lifetime. Is thy sweet heart now grown so cold

Knock three times

Current obsession ; Tony Orlando and dawn Reason ; summerhood memory Current mood; decent despite rising temperatures Current gripe;. Resumes Favorite snack;. Salsa Favorite love to hate;. Facebook

Gail force

The wind here on the plains has been a real test of one's ability to exist. I just wish people would stop blowing around and focus on how simply wonderful things are.

Times are a changin

What the font?

my favorite person right now

I am in love with Kris Jenner...she is an amazing mom and business person...I am obsessed with her...period

meltdown 2015 style

Interesting thing happened today on the 2nd day of the year.....had that Christmas meltdown that usually occurs before December 25.  It wasn't super epic but it sufficed.  I feel kinda bad for the parties involved...but not that bad.  I love the people that said meltdown happened in front of but not bad enough to feel like apologizing for the simple reason that they are family, and sometimes families scream.  That all being said I still had a really wonderful Christmas, and hope that the two people reading this did as well..    love natalie

its beginning

to look a lot like Christmas.  I am pretty excited this year.  I basically have my shopping done and I am looking forward to just chillin from now until the big day.  This year is also fun because some of the things I, I mean Santa got for my daughter were actually things I kinda wanted for her to have.  The sheepskin rug, although not fun for her will look amazing in her playroom, and so will the gym like locker, and the hugglepod will get a lot of use from me.  And to be able to remind her that santa knows if she has been bad or good works like a charm.

rolling pebble

Over 25 years ago I watched a documentary of 20 years of Rolling Stone.  Neil Young mesmerized me for decades, with a couple of sentences.  He explained that when he is giving a concert that he loved taking his crowds to the limit of the experience.  Going on to say that just when the crowd was at the peak of their experience, it was time for him to then REALLY take the audience to a place they didn't know they could get from  a performance.    I have literally applied this principle to my life for over 25 years, and so it goes again.  During a day with my 3 and a half year old we start out slow, we lay in bed a chit chat a little bit...slowly she begins to demand food.  We then usually go for a sweet in the morning to curb cravings the rest of the day.  Around noon we have maybe had a small discussion about suckers,   but we are in the first set of the concert and it is fun.  Afternoon when it time for drum solos band introductions and breaks we are bored and we wait for the arrival of our third member.  Then bam dinner time, bath time, crazy run around naked time, then the essential oils are released to aid in slumber, and as the night is coming to a close you realize this was one great show.  Everyday being a parent can be that way, you are at the top of the experience, ready to head for the hills and then boom there's more, and so you rock a  little more because you still have it to give.....and then one more encore!  The vibe is quiet and you feel like you shared something special.

cool burn

Growing up summer had a magical note to it.  Everyday was new,  the music was good.....I had amazing summers, and then I didn't, now they are back.  I was sitting in a parking lot tonight, listening to the 70's at 7 and people watching.  A kid maybe 19 or so strums by my car on his skateboard,  Gets himself a soda and proceeds to wow me as he skates through a flat canvas of a parking lot as the sun sets very low in the sky.  And there you have it, how I got my summer back. 

supper moon

The star that is closest to our earth, the sun is what we call it, lit up the moon so beautifully on Saturday that I did not want it to ever go away.   We were at the lake and the moon crept up over the trees.  When something like that is upon you everything is so small.  Like a small 3 year old who  chased it through the sky for a couple of hours.  Leaving on Sunday was so hard because the little girl was so sad that she sat in the middle of camp as sort of a protest.  A mean dog even barked at her and she held her ground.  She said I like camping and sleeping in the cabinet. 

Tonight we took a late drive to settle my nerves.  We had been cruising a round for awhile when my sweet baby girl broke into song.  ....twinkle twinkle...you know the tune.....I was blown away....but over the past couple of days I have been hearing little bits of singing....this was such a nice treat.   Three day weekends are wonderful family time, but late into day 3 and I am a little ready for routine again.    and speaking of routine or lack of, the entire day of the 4th came and went with family, food, decorations, and lots of fireworks...and this lady did not take a single picture....I was busy, darn busy all day and it slipped my mind I guess...and for the first time ever I made really good beans and pot salad.    up above the world so high like a diamond in the sky

little bit while

I  have one amazing 3 year old.  She is kind to strangers, has manners, gets her feelings hurt at the playground, and is complimentary to her counter parts.  Loves sceaming when she spots a plane in the sky, and can hear a train 3 miles away.  Tries all kinds of new food and for no  particular reason at all tells me and her dad that she loves us.  So why in the hell do I mention to people that she was not much of a sleeper when she was a baby, or why do I wish she would still nap everyday.   Or why when  strangers tell me what a great kid she is don't I just say "yes"   because if I recall I usually tell people I hardly know that toy time is out of control at our house...or I tell people of her love for the word no,  or I say she is not so great when she is taking 2 hours to put on her jammers.   I suck right now for this....and I really and not wanting other mothers to make me feel better by exchanging 3 year old behaviors stories...but it would be fun....I think I am a better mom because she was up every 90 minutes on the dot for a long time....if she takes a nap these days she might miss something......its fun for her to run around naked from us with her pj's in our hanks....and she likes telling me no...she is getting her voice.....I am on her team...I love her for whatever

The three year old that I spend roughly 22 hours a day with has been a little stinker lately.   Not to worry she is totally normal...but what about me?  I mumble stuff to myself that I cant say to her face...like ya  I know you want cereal you mentioned it 14 times in the last 30 seco nds.   oh and big shocker you don't want to brush you teeth, and really pajamas are out of the question for at least an hour after the bath.   Im convinced I am raising the biggest stinker of em all.....but really she is just trying to get in sync with her little body changes.  I am going to try and divert her moods with legos I guess because the fun bonus will be to step on one while on my way to get a drink of milk  Alone

remember at Sams when I didnt love you

My baby girl has been in a real remembering kind of way....she is reliving her baby days,  she wants to sit in her little car seat, wants me to hold her like a baby, I fed her some pie today like a baby.  But I like this phase...and speaking of remembering I made her a time capsule today.  There is artwork from when I was in first grade and papers I wrote in college, and momentos from all the years in between.  I have always been a nostalgia kind of person and I guess I hope she is too....but what a great weekend we had...Sage climbed all over tombstones today...I was ok with it   because 1 she is 3 and in my opinion what a great way to honor the dead.

baby just not tired

I myself have always been a sleeper,  I used to enjoy naps for any ol reason.  So how in the world is this sweet little girl mine?  Everyday I strive to wear her out.  She is only 3 how in the world can she possible rock steady for 12 hours? 

                                                                                                   

Mother's day......my facebook newsfeed is filled with posts of people thanking their mothers.   This is a difficult day for me.  I love my mom, and I have spent my life thinking she was the best mother ever,  I am serious about this...I always thought the other moms I knew were shams, that they in no way even came close to being the kind of mother mine was.   But my mom and I had a few challenges along the way, and I don't mean small challenges.  I have always been pretty proud of how we got through things, I remember some New Years Eves when we were so happy to have a year behind us so we could start again only to be saying the same thing when the next NYE came around.   What makes a good mom?  one that does homework with their child every night?  one who guides their child and heavily influences their decisions, one who totally devotes their life to raising their child?  one who stays away from alcohol and other substances until their child leaves the house?  one who remains married even if she is miserable?  one who makes her child finish college right after high school?   what I am getting at is that my mom did none of the above             she trusted me enough to have me make my own choices from a very young age, but along the way we shopped, laughed, ate good food, took trips, planted flowers, cried, watched her mother grow old and die, went through some tough relationships, worked together...I mean the list goes on...........
At a recent high school reunion several people asked how my mom was and I told them all the same thing..."she's great"  one had the balls to say to me "she was so beautiful"  as to which I replied "she still is" 
back to the facebook newsfeed....I have a bunch of optimists on my friends list and they all post the inspirational sayings...reminding us not to judge, not to live in the past, we are not defined by our mistakes....and the one about we don't know what plan He has for everyone....
I guess what I am getting at is this...mothers day was over an hour ago...I had a great day with my mom on Saturday....looking back I never waivered in my feelings for my mom, but I think others might have judged her and it makes me sad.

3 wheeling

This last week was everything a week should be.  Fun, exhausting, inspired, and towards the end of the week really really warm.  But the highlight was seeing my sweet baby girl peddle her tricycle.  She preferred to do this naked....of course.

sundy

I thought I would just share my day because it was a sheer test of my coping abilities.  First off we have a grocery store in this town where all the I just got out of church or I just worked out or my favorite, we are the fun couple shopping for grub together...and then there is me...spinach, bananas,   stuff for smoothies and the hot chips because I am not going to cleanse until tomorrow.  Usually on Sunday my daughter and I have run of the house because bread winner is mostly in his office catching up on stuff and when he is in there I want him to be out here with us, but today he watched 12 back to back episodes if Bar Rescue in a row on the couch. my couch    oh and the wind blew us into a wind advisory so all three of us inside,  I went sublevel and slept. woke up and made a dinner I was less than happy with but it was simple in a too high in sodium kind of way....and then now just watched 2 glorious hours of tony bourdaine,,,,,,but I have to mention again that sweet little 3 year old of mine....she only came down once to find me sleeping and didn't even stay long  I told her I was here for her if she needed me.....after dinner I took a nice hot soak in the tub...and here she came  to feel how hot my water was and to tell me that she is here if I needed her, she checked back twice.   and now to enjoy a few jalapeno chips

bok bok

thanks Easter bunny...  these last 3 days have really been awesome...great meals, great bands, great people...but in the morning a little girl is going to have a real surprise since the Easter bunny just stopped by...she was tired...she waited and waited for the youngest member to fall asleep

smooth

Went to watch Rob Thomas perform tonight at the Stiefel theatre.  He took all of us on a magical music ride, as a really great treat he sang Jane Says....it was so cool to hear someone besides Perry Ferrel perform it.   I felt hopeful, I missed my daughter, I wondered about old boyfriends, remembered the summer of smooth, and teared up at the end.  A perfect rock show in my world.  I will be on a concert high for days!